Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you
about what
had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study
history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
..................
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6,
how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
.................
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting
worse.
David:?But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so
I am
scolding you now.
.................
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said
6+2=8. If she
can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
....................
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and
daughter were
watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud
crash of
breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned
to look at
her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
.........
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
--------------------------------------------------
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
-----------
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
-------------
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach
you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
--------------
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
---------------------
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference
between
'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok,
answer, Joan"
said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law
doesn't
allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."
---------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
