Reflection on the counselling course during CTE

I joined ITE in year 2000 as a Technical Support Offier and was redeployed to teaching in 2003. I have been teaching for the past 1 year and met many different students and had “counseled” a handful of them. However after attending the counseling module in PCTE, I have realized that what I have been doing was in fact mentoring and not counseling!

I was then providing a listening ear or a shoulder for them to cry on. After hearing their problems I would suggest solutions and directions for my troubled students. Very often I was caught in a situation where I am not able to suggest any remedies for them, thus referring them to other staff. Never did I realized that how “mechanical” I was, that I have failed to help them to internalized their problem and help them work towards change.

After knowing what counseling was trying to achieve, I strongly agree that a person is capable of change. However, I also strongly believe that the wanting to change in certain behaviour must come from the counselee within. I feel that there must be a certain “x-factor” that is strong enough to motivate him to change. Therefore, I asked myself whether is it possible for us, as an amateur counselor, to identify that “x-factor” and able to stir up that desire to change in them?

One of the tool, reality therapy (which I think was useful), was introduced to us during the PCTE. I acknowledged that applying reality therapy does help our counselee to think for himself, identify his needs, evaluate his problem and challenges him to reflect on the solutions and help him plan for changes. I feel that these will only help him to realize where his problem was and what he can do to get out of that situation. But he may not eventually follow his plans and take the steps to change his behaviour. This is probably due to some resistance he is facing. I can identify some of the these resistance as the followings,

1. Counselee’s Feeling
One example is fear, in one of the role play where the counselee (played by Siew Lan) was being victimized by her classmates. Her fear of being hurt by them forces her to be submissive. Therefore, even if we are able to help her think for herself that she needs to change her behaviour to protect herself; she may still resist changing because she has not overcome her biggest obstacle, fear. Likewise for other feelings like hatred, love and etc.

2. Counselee’s Past Experiences
The counselee’s past experiences in life, especially traumas may force him to resist changes. His present personality, thoughts and character are probably influenced by these past experiences, thus I believe that to make him change is an uphill task, unless some triggering event comes up and causes him the willingness to change.

3. External Factors
Putting myself in a counselee’s shoe, external factors like culture, society, family and peer pressure, has certainly affects my decision towards changes. For example in the role-play on a counselee (played by Maybelline) who was addicted to drugs, she may have realize the harmful effects of drugs and knew its consequences, and she may have wanted very much to change. However, the external factors like peer pressure and the acceptance level of her family and the society does affects her desire to change.

Therefore, I feel that as a front-line counselor our hands are tied when we want to help them overcome these resistances, as they ultimately are the ones who will take that very first step towards change. I could always help them reflect and think for themselves, but it is that particular “x-factor” that will trigger them to change. Nevertheless, I will still try my best to counsel them as I strongly believe that a person is capable of change.